So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
