Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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