my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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