susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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