I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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