so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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