Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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