i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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