Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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