i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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