garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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