My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize