I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Found the puke drawer
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
