omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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