are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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