We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
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Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
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Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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