Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
