THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
