Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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