Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
