If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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