Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
