i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We don't watch enough power rangers
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
