You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
