I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
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All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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