im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
