By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
high people should be assigned attendants
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
