I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
