i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
