Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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