I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
