I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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