Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
