Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
