GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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