Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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