Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
