it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
