Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Less talking, more tequila
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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