Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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