You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
