Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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