lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
