even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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