I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
