All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
