just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
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I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
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The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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