well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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