You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
