we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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