So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
