it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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