I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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