They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
