We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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