We're facebook friends in real life
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
