We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
