My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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