He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
